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Hard Boundaries can Feel Like Disconnection

Writer's picture: LaDeidra N. Wooten, BSN, RN, CCM, LMT "Nurse Dei"LaDeidra N. Wooten, BSN, RN, CCM, LMT "Nurse Dei"

So many topics are important as we heal as a Collective:

Boundaries, Gaslighting, Narcissism, Childhood Trauma, Reparenting, Projecting, Self-Awareness, Self-Love, & many more.

One of the most discussed topics above is BOUNDARIES. Boundaries are so, so, so important. You must know what you need in order to feel respected & appreciated as an individual.

It's healthy to always know where you stand & if you feel like your needs aren't being met, you should make your boundaries clear (& add some if needed).

‼️However, there are times when you may be adding on boundaries in a relationship when no one has overstepped your boundaries & it can feel like disconnection to the other party involved.

FOR EXAMPLE: You have a good friendship. You both respect one another, & have not had any problems or hurt feelings.

Then, one day in conversation you tell your friend:

"Don't come over my house without calling first....If you call me, I'll call you back when I get time.....I'll talk to you sometimes about your break up with Charlie, but we can't be talking all night."

And your friend is like, 🤔" Huh!?!?! I've NEVER done any of those things! Why are you saying this to me?!?!"

And it's because, you have learned about BOUNDARIES so you're expressing your boundaries to EVERYONE... randomly. 😏😁

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💥Nurse Dei-ism: OK slow down. It doesn't take all of that.

Your boundaries are important & you should make them clear.

But, you don't have to bogart every relationship & say "I'm setting my boundaries now, and what you ain't gone do is _______"

And ain't nobody been doing nothing to you. 🤦🏾‍♀️😏

Chile bye. 🤭😁

You know the relationships that need a readjustment of the boundaries, because they weren't made clear...and somebody is overstepping them.

You don't have to go to everybody with your "what you not gone do is" list.

It can feel hurtful & harsh to your honest & respectful relationships.

It can also feel like "why are you so disconnected all of a sudden putting up walls between us? I've never disrespected you or your space".

Think about it 🤔 & let me know if you have any questions.

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